Hellgate:Failsauce

[NapalmEnema]

I wanted to make hot monkey love to this game when I first heard about it, and played it.

But now I would rather have sexy time with a sack of tacs, a jar of peanut butter, and two thawed whole chickens.

That is all.

[Lonethar]

So exactly HOW would you do this? Like in what order? What specific TECHNIQUE?

[Asuka Kazama]

So you've bitched about the game in just about every PoD thread possible and even made a couple and decided to make another one about how much you hate the game huh?

[NapalmEnema]

So you've bitched about the game in just about every PoD thread possible and even made a couple and decided to make another one about how much you hate the game huh?

I'm bored, this is the 'Plains Of Despair'.

Could you indicate where a bored, entertaining individual such as myself can talk a bit of trash and have a laugh?

Lighten up or monkeys with clown makeup on could come over and possibly eat your liver.

[NapalmEnema]

So exactly HOW would you do this? Like in what order? What specific TECHNIQUE?

Ancient family secret.

I'll give you a hint though - don't throw away the giblets, they are best used during the handstand.

(you'll know what I mean when you get to that point, after the dismount, but before you add the apples)

[Lonethar]

Mmmm..peanut butter. Mmmm..chicken. Mmmm....apples. Yuck...giblets...!

[Iuris]

Ancient family secret.
So THAT's how they made you :)

Anyway, HGL has taught me a valuable lesson: never anticipate a game.

[Pernicious]

Your life must be sad and uneventful if you have stuck around for this long.

Just move on. Seriously.

[NapalmEnema]

Your life must be sad and uneventful if you have stuck around for this long.

Just move on. Seriously.

Yes, this is the majority of my life and it's going's on - trolling this one forum on this website.

You figured it out.

I don't randomly check this while up late and bored or something after a long day and taking care of my life. No no, this is my sole pursuit and reason to exist. If I couldn't whine and bitch on this one forum, my life as I know it would lose all meaning.

Also, pray tell if I am morbidly curious if this game will ever get better, why I shouldn't stick around and stay up on what's going on with it? And along with that, while sticking around and the game is in it's obviously lame state (even you could admit that) why is it wrong for me to have a little fun in this forum?

Now run along, if I wanted your opinion, I'd give it to you.

[harbinger]

This is the PoD.
This is NapalmNMA.

What else :)

Just stay polite even to this poor wretched soul.

MN.

[Acaulescent]

You know, I don't care much for the haters, but at least he keeps it here in PoD unlike other people around the forums. Besides, he makes me laugh so bong loads all around.

[edujackass]

So you've bitched about the game in just about every PoD thread possible and even made a couple and decided to make another one about how much you hate the game huh?

if something what you hoped to be sooo good turns out to be soooo bad people just do this. its normal.. i think im doing the same but just did not visit this forum annymore.
i think same goes for the 750 users that were here at the beginning of hellgate but they all just decided to leave instead of post their dissapointments and possibly look a fool for their friends.

900- 1000 users were browsing the general discussion at start of hellgate, now its 150 max. you must wonder where they all went gone to.

[BryanM]

All online games have a bell curve to their playerbase over time. It goes up, then it goes down. Most games have curves that go over years - Hellgate peaked over 20 days.

That's just the quality of the current game. Without them actually finishing the basic game, that's the way it goes. If they swallow their arrogance there's always epic EVE-online style success ahead.

Honest to god, participating in the forums is only good for killing time. They ask for feedback on Evoker changes, everyone says they don't want cool downs on every single one of the non-beam spells. That hey, the initial splash damage on Lightning Field is a wet noodle and it's simply more fun to use the thing in a spammable form. That regardless of the damage output of Tempest, it would be nice for it to have a long duration so you only have to precast it once for trash battles.

And the patch notes are a huge "fuck you, we know better" to all those people.

No Flagship, it appears you do not know much of anything.

Player: "Hey how much life exactly does the Ember have so I know if it's usuable as a little buddy now or not?"
Flagship: "Fuck you."

Nice.

And in one comment from a dev he stated to the effect: "I don't know why people want an exact number on how the damage was changed - they should just play around with it to see how it 'feels'."

.................................................. ................................

Is it no wonder it's such a joke? Their forum is full of little love letters compared to what people on unbiased boards say about the thing.

And a lot of people don't seem to grasp the amount of disrespect this company has put into this product. This isn't a "Springtime for Hitler" type scam. It's a "haha f u nub" scam.

[Taiko]

I secretly think NapalmEnema is CEO of FSS...I wonder how much they insured Hellgate for?

[Iuris]

And in one comment from a dev he stated to the effect: "I don't know why people want an exact number on how the damage was changed - they should just play around with it to see how it 'feels'."
And then they don't allow respecs, either.

Their forum is full of little love letters compared to what people on unbiased boards say about the thing.
It's worse. On other forums, there is nothing but silence. Noone talks about the game, at all. Threads about HGL are almost archived.



The only reason I play is that I got founders in a rush of carelessness, and now, I have nothing to lose if I play whenever I bother to. There are a few things that are fun in this game, and you can do them every once in a while, if you take regular breaks from HGL.

[Godless]

I think, part of FFS's problem is that their devs:
a) don't read the forums daily (if ever)
b) don't play the game much

Sure, they use dev mode to test a few things, setting skills to whatever level they desire,
spawn the gear they want etc. If they just tried to run thru the game Lvl 1 to Lvl 50 once
or twice on the officilal server, perhaps, they'd understand their customers better.
I don't even know why the Test Server exist if devs never care for the feedback.

[BryanM]

My playthrough goes into pretty deep detail about what isn't exactly working - when you have to sit down and actually think in depth about every little thing they have you doing in the game, and then some more afterwards while you're typing out the experience... the flaws are almost overbearing. It's way worse then how the generalized complaints make it seem.

(For fans of that thread, I should have entry number 2 up tonight after preparing the images. The tendons in my hands feel better today.)

If they played their game, they know full well it's not half of what it could be..

It's worse. On other forums, there is nothing but silence. Noone talks about the game, at all. Threads about HGL are almost archived.

Well of course. They call it a horrible trainwreck abortion and move on.

Attention is the currency of the modern age.

Hope you like Bill Roper taking a gigantic dump in your mouth because that's all you're going to get if you play Hellgate.

[Blitzkrieg_Bob]

Seems to me that a lot of people who have nothing nice to say should just say nothing.

Let the guy have his moan - so what?

No need for name calling and petty hate mongering.
There's too much of that shit in this messed up world already. :/

[NapalmEnema]

Seems to me that a lot of people who have nothing nice to say should just say nothing.

Let the guy have his moan - so what?

No need for name calling and petty hate mongering.
There's too much of that shit in this messed up world already. :/

Meh bring the ruckus - anyone that wants to e-thug me will be answered in kind :o I'm bored and have a thicker skin than Rambo.

[Blitzkrieg_Bob]

Not really related to what you said (or even to this thread), but something that's just occurred to me is how strange a phenomenon the hinternets is.

I've been online since about '95, and I've slowly (and with no small amount of bemusement) watched the evolution of the internet warrior.

A lot of folks have so much to say, yet when you meet these people in real life (been there, done that), they're as quiet as a mouse.

Makes me smile. :)

[Zombiemachine]

A lot of folks have so much to say, yet when you meet these people in real life (been there, done that), they're as quiet as a mouse.

Makes me smile. :)
So very true. I once got into a pissing contest with a guy that actually ended up threatening to kick my ass. Thing is, he lived near me so we met at least several days after that. Turned out he was a 19 year old boy half my size. It was at the same time funny (the look on his face) and pathetic (him avoiding me all evening). :-D

[NapalmEnema]

I hate those people too... I'm certainly not one of them, then again I'm not someone that will insult someone on the internets. I might make you feel stupid or trade some insults but I'm not going to e-thug people then not back it up. That's for 5 year olds. If I talk violence you can bet I will be willing to match action with words... but I can't think of anything on the internet that would ever get me upset.

I mean it's the internet - who cares? :)

[Zombiemachine]

Exactly, we're text based lifeforms here. :-)

[BryanM]

I'm bored and have a thicker skin than Rambo.

I've read enough about the Rocky movies (http://jabootu.net/?p=785) to know that Stallone ain't a man. He's made of iron.

[Blitzkrieg_Bob]

Sorry if it sounded like I was dissing you there Napalm - that wasn't my intention at all.
I just picked up on something you said and went slightly off-topic.

[Sazon]

...
A lot of folks have so much to say, yet when you meet these people in real life (been there, done that), they're as quiet as a mouse.


You'd better not be talking about me mate - or I'll ask the wife beat you up! :p

[Blitzkrieg_Bob]

Lol!
No Saz, I was referring to an incident on IRC back in '97 or so (anyone even remember IRC?) when some arse-hat started causing trouble and I told him to shut up.
He threatened me with all sorts of crap and I shrugged him off. He eventually said something about knowing my address and hunting me down.
Anyway, I thought no more about him (people like that are best consigned to the wheelie-bin of life), until an IRC meet a few months later.
I was introduced to him by a mate of mine. I said something like 'Yes, I remember you from the XX chat - I think you threatened me,' and his face just lost colour. He didn't say a word. And I didn't see him the rest of the night.
Funny as hell.